Siblings

By Rae

They are your confidants and your biggest rivals. Your best friends and worst enemies. Siblings sometimes take the cake, either figuratively or literally. But I ask you, which sibling is it best to be? Oldest, youngest, middle or being an only child?

NOTE - the generalisations which are about to be made about siblings are just that: generalisations.

The oldest sibling leads the way. They get first shot at all achievements and so everything they achieve is praised by the parents – most of the time. They also have the power as the oldest, supposedly the most mature, responsible and the ‘leader’ of the siblings. But on the flip side, they are expected to be mature, responsible and a role model for their younger compatriots.

The youngest is usually the ‘baby’ of the family, following in the older siblings’ footsteps. They are allowed to be more immature and take on less responsibility. Also, from my experience, they can more easily weasel out of taking blame, with the older siblings not ‘being good role models’ being the cause of the issue. However, they must also try to make themselves stand out after already having other siblings forge a path, making their role harder in that respect.

Only children are alone. Forever alone, without the company of siblings and thus never knowing the power of the sibling bond. Never having the constant friend. Though many siblings often dream of being an only child: the peace and quiet, the attention, and the second best bedroom in the house without having to fight with siblings to get it. Plus, there is no one to steal your cake (unless your dad or mum do).

And then there is the middle child. Ever heard of ‘middle child syndrome’? Being middle child means you aren’t seen as the baby of the household, but you also are still below your older sibling so will never be ‘in charge’ if your parents leave you alone for an evening. Your older sibling has already set the bar and you have to try to at least meet it. However, you do get the advantage of being close in age to both of your siblings which can make it easier to connect.

There are all kinds of siblings, many of them not falling into the above outlined roles perfectly. As put nicely by Jane Mersy Leder, "Our siblings push buttons that cast us in roles we felt sure we had let go of long ago - the baby, the peacekeeper, the caretaker, the avoider.... It doesn't seem to matter how much time has elapsed or how far we've travelled.”

Most parents do the whole, ‘I don’t compare my children, they are all individuals,’ but as children we know, even if they don’t do it intentionally, they are still constantly comparing. Or maybe that is just what kids think. Regardless, leave a comment on which child you think has it best, and if what you are – the baby, the peacekeeper, the caretaker, the avoider, or something else entirely.

However, the timeline of the siblings is easily broken by being an individual. And so despite all of their cake stealing antics, the bond siblings share is unique. As said by Erica E. Goode, "Sibling relationships...outlast marriages, survive the death of parents, resurface after quarrels that would sink any friendship. They flourish in a thousand incarnations of closeness and distance, warmth, loyalty and distrust."