Without further ado, here are life lessons that fairytale logic teaches us.
- Always label your clothes.
If Cinderella had only taken the extra time to mark her precious items, there wouldn't be so much fuss about the identity of the secret princess in the first place.
- Stranger danger
Do not trust every random stranger that walks by, especially not sinister-looking old witches offering you trinkets.
- Read the terms and conditions
Ariel, next time, actually understand what kind of deal you're making before you go off trading any substantial parts of yourself. And beware of dodgy tradespeople.
- Safety over convenience
After all, what a lovely scenic route Red Riding Hood could have had if she had taken the long way around, where there weren't any trees obstructing her view.
- Do not trespass
Especially in a suspiciously sized house that has no signs of humans. I'm talking to you, Goldilocks. Stay out of places that scream signs to stay out!
- Do not go into that house
Candy houses are suspicious. Even as you are young, Hansel and Gretel, you should understand by now not to get yourself inside the house of someone you do not know!
- Think ahead
If the pigs had just constructed a bunker earlier, maybe they wouldn't need to spend all their time dashing from house to house to evade a nasty wolf.
You know, I could say that Jack and the Beanstalk teaches you that spending your savings on gambling is good, but you know, that fairytale went a bit awry with its morals.
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